Don't Laugh!

I bought this "thing" from a sewing catalog - it's a piece of interfacing that you are supposed to iron onto a long strip of material (or one that you pieced together from scraps). The interfacing is marked out in sections so that all you do is iron it on, attach straps and Velcro, fold according to the markings and sew around the edges. When you turn it right side out it magically becomes a little pouch for your cell phone with an extra pocket for change, your licence, etc. and a long strap.

So being me, I decided before I used up the interfacing I would trace it onto a paper pattern so I could continue to make pouches after the interfacing was gone. All I would have to do is use a piece of regular interfacing and transfer the markings to it. Easy? Simple? Don't bet on it!

I decided to use two layers of lightweight material since I did not have any extra interfacing laying around (and I didn't feel like digging through piles of stashed scraps and fabrics to find some).

I decided to embroider a design on the material first and followed my homemade pattern for the placement of the embroidered design. Who knew the placement would be off just enough to throw my carefully placed design way off kilter?

I decided to use a button loop and button instead of Velcro. Who knew the placement would be off just enough to leave the loop off center and the button INSIDE the finished pouch!

Because I used two layers of material (I thought it would be the same as one layer of fabric and one layer of interfacing) the thing was so bulky that I couldn't turn it right side out without tearing out the side seam.

Once I had the thing turned right side out the button loop was off center, the button was inside the pocket, the flap was too loose to close anyway and for some reason, the shoulder strap wound up sewn INSIDE the finished pouch. Too bad, this had the potential of being a really cute little thingy. I had plans to make several for gifts.

Actually, like most things, I could see the cause of my errors as I went along and I think I can fix them all. I just have to get over the waste of the time and material and get in the mood to try again. This time I will definitely use interfacing and will probably even use the preprinted piece that came with the kit. Then if that works I'll know it was just "beginner's luck" that caused my first failure.

Anyway, you probably will NOT be getting a personalized cell phone pouch for your birthday. But keep your eyes open - - - maybe around Christmas? Who knows?

Quotable Quotes; in the category Not AGAIN, I just FIXED that!

As ye sew, so shall ye rip. ~Author Unknown

Coke Is It!

There is a story that occasionally makes the rounds of Internet and has probably landed in your email from time to time. It claims that Coca Cola is so highly acidic that it has been used for everything from removing rust from chrome, corrosion from battery terminals and stains from toilets.

Believe.

Bill and I are incurable pack rats. I am thoroughly convinced we suffer from the hoarding disorder. I offer the following as proof.

There was a time when Coke (and Squirt, and Vernor's and Root Beer) was on sale for real cheap - like a case for less than $4. We would buy it like it was going out of style. Then after awhile we either got tired of it or "forgot" it was there. At any rate, it went undrunk and remained stacked under the laundry tubs in the basement.

Eventually, we noticed that some of the cans had leaked. Not sure if they were punctured or if the seal at the pop-top had failed. But we found half filled cans and leakage on the floor under the laundry tubs. One glance told us that the beverage was far past its prime. Time to throw out the old coke.

Bill decided to empty the cans into the laundry tub on laundry day so that the water from the washing machine would wash the sticky residue down the drain. He spent quite some time emptying cans until he got tired or until he got a blister on his thumb (we had bought a LOT of soda). It worked like a charm and the only mess to clean up was the one under the laundry tubs.

Well, there was still quite a bit of old soda yet to dispose of and Bill decided yesterday was the day. I told him I was ready to do laundry and he proceeded to empty cans of soda into the laundry tub. He piled the empties in a laundry basket, lined with a heavy duty plastic bag. When the basket was full Bill asked me to unfold the plastic bag and pull it up high so he could add more cans to the bag.

Then he showed me something interesting. Many of the cans had reacted with the acidic soda they contained. The soda had eaten right through the aluminum cans and leaked all over. I can't tell you how long this took, but I can tell you it was an awesome sight, and an awesome phenomenon to ponder.

Behold the power or Coke. I don't know if it will rot your stomach, remove road tar or clean your car battery. But I do know that it will eat right through the can in which it is packaged.

Not that I intend to stop drinking it. Coke is still my favorite soft drink. And did you know, you can buy Kosher Coke or Coke bottled in Mexico that is still made with cane sugar (nowadays soda is sweetened with high fructose corn syrup, like everything else). Some people claim they can taste the difference. I'm afraid all those years of drinking this corrosive beverage may have eroded my taste buds. Just tastes like Coke to me. But it might be worth a try if you have a sensitive palate. Give it a try and let me know what you think.

And remember, things go better with Coke 'cuz it's the real thing, so have a Coke and a smile!

Quotable Quotes; In the category No, Wait, That's Not Quite What I Meant.

"It is like comparing champagne with cognac. No-with Coca-Cola."
Opera Diva Maria Callas

'Bout Time For A New Post

Sorry 'bout that. I thought it was still Mardi Gras!

But seriously, I have been so busy I have not had time to update. This one will be quick.

What have I been doing? Trying to knit 2 socks at the same time on circular knitting needles.

Non-knitters won't know what I'm talking about, nor will they likely care. But anyone who has ever knit (or contemplated knitting) a pair of socks will have at least an inkling.

Apparently there has been a quiet movement afoot (pun definitely intended) in the world of sock knitters. Apparently many knitters find double pointed needles, the usual means of knitting socks, mittens or other small, tubular, seamless items, difficult to work with. Apparently many knitters find it bothersome, once they have completed the first sock or mitten, to have to turn around and knit another one to match. Apparently this has become quite a big deal. Or maybe they are just looking for new worlds to conquer, Alexander the Great notwithstanding.

For your enjoyment, here is an illustration from Lewis Carroll's Through The Looking Glass and What Alice Found There. It is by John Tenniel, the quintessential Alice illustrator, and purportedly shows a sheep knitting on multiple needles. Throughout the chapter, the sheep continues to add more and more needles causing Alice to ponder how she can knit with so many. From Chapter V, Wool and Water.

At any rate, a number of books, articles and websites have sprung up on the topic of knitting small tubular seamless items on circular needles rather than on a set of 4 or 5 double pointed needles. One faction prefers the use of two circular needles while another advocates the use of a single long needle and the employment of the "magic loop".

I really can't say much about these techniques in any way that would allow you to envision them. There are a number of web sites that have excellent pictures and good instructions (although better than pictures, which only speak a thousand words, is a real live person showing you how. Suddenly, few words are needed). Try googling "socks circular needles" for the web sites that show this technique if you're interested or otherwise have too much time.

The upshot is I have tried knitting small tubes with one and with two circular needles and I favor the two needle method. Not that I have any real problem with the set of double pointed needles, unless maybe minor irritation at having to knit a second sock. The trouble seems to be that the second is not exactly identical to the first, perhaps having a few extra stitches or a few missing rows. I guess there's something about striving for exactness (let's not say perfection) that prompts such efforts.

I now have a pair of experimental socks hanging from my pair of circular needles. I have been working on them about a week and have knitted about 3 inches on each one. I can see already that it's going to take a bit longer to knit two socks than it would to knit one at a time. It may even take longer to knit two socks at once than it would to knit two socks one at a time. But even I can see that once those buggers are finished, they will be finished and I won't have to go back and knit a mate for an orphan sock - they'll be born as twins. I can wear them home!

Quotable quotes; In the category Honey, hand me that long skinny thing there.

"A #6 aluminum needle has been known to furnish an excellent emergency shearpin for an outboard motor." Elizabeth Zimmerman, Knitter/Author Extraordinaire

Mardi Gras!

Today is mardi gras.

I never celebrated this particular event as a kid and is seems it's not widely celebrated "up north" where I live. But a few years ago some friends became involved in a "krewe" whose main purpose was to promote the celebration of mardi gras and to throw a blast of a mardi gras party each year.

The first year I went to that party I was asked to come as a guest and video-tape the set-up and the main events of the party so the krewe could have a record of their event. I was an invited guest again for the next couple years and always had a blast at this party. They serve lots of jambalaya, dirty rice and corn bread and the hurricanes (rum punch) flow freely. The music is a gas and the costumes, formal wear and masks make it a great party. Plus the group is filled with really great people.

Consequently, I love mardi gras beads, masks, and music. Today, I am tuned in to WWOZ and am listening to mardi gras tunes, wearing my beads, and have decorated my cubicle with impromptu masks. I wish I knew where I could score a piece of King cake (actually, the cafeteria probably has some as they are serving a mardi gras buffet lunch today).

Tomorrow marks the beginning of the Lenten season and the end of fun, carnival, excess, sweets and partying. So for today I say to you all "Laissez les bon temps roulez"!!!

Quotable quotes; In the category Why? Because we like to!

"On Mardi Gras we dance 'cause we want to"! All on Mardi Gras Day: Episodes in the History of New Orleans Carnival,
by Reid Mitchell

Roast Beef

We had roast beef this week. A rare enough occurrence given that I'm not really fond of rare beef and apparently rare is the only way to cook roast beef. But they had the "Boston Roast" on sale and this is usually a small roast easily consumed by two. The cookbooks say this cut is meant to be pot-roasted (braised in liquid) but while it can be tough when roasted, we have usually had good luck with roasting. It was over 4 pounds. Just big enough for roast beef one night and leftovers for a couple meals.

Roasting beef couldn't be easier. Bring the meat to room temperature by letting it sit out for an hour or so. Heat the oven to a blasting 550 f. Put the roast in the oven in a pan with no rack, no liquid, no nothing and immediately turn the heat down to 350 and let it go for about 20 - 30 minutes per pound (the longer time if it's been rolled and tied) for medium, a little less for rare.

Let the roast stand, covered loosely with foil, for 10 minutes or so before carving to let the juices settle and there you are. I get the outside cuts as they are generally less rare than the later slices, which Bill adores.

You can mix about 1/4 cup flour with salt and pepper and your favorite herbs and rub the roast with this, before cooking, for a crusty exterior. You can slice potatoes, onions and carrots and scatter them in the pan. You can pour some beer or wine in the pan to help those veg cook a little (or parboil them first) and to help the pan drippings along.

If you want Yorkshire Pudding with your roast, and who doesn't, here's how. Mix an egg with about a cup each of milk and flour with a pinch of salt. Whisk until lump free. Then let it sit there while the roast cooks and whisk it a couple more times. It should resemble a thin pancake batter, a little thicker than for crepes.

When you take the roast out to rest, turn the oven up to 450 and if there's not a lot of grease in the pan add a little oil, butter, margarine or bacon fat. Let it get ripping hot and then pour the batter in all at once. Put it back in the oven for about 10 - 20 minutes, then turn the heat back down to 350 and let it cook until done, brown and shiny, about 10 - 20 minutes more. It will puff up and get a shiny crust and is delicious cut or torn into serving pieces and served with the beef and veg.

I know some people make gravy to accompany roast beef but mom never did this and so I don't either. I just pour any of the pan drippings over the meat and let it go at that. Roast beef and Yorkshire Pudding is great with brussels sprouts or cauliflower. Serve tea after the meal for a very English touch.

I like to use the leftovers to make roast beef hash, roast beef sandwiches or fake Stroganoff. Chill the leftover meat and then slice it as thin as you can get it for sandwiches or Stroganoff. Use the bits and chunks for hash.

Hash - chop the beef and any leftover veg fairly fine. Heat some oil or bacon grease in a skillet and add a minced onion if you didn't have any leftover, and then a diced potato. Finally add the chopped beef and veg and heat through. You can let it get pan-crispy if you wish but you probably don't want to cook the beef too long. Salt and pepper, a little cayenne, tobasco or worcestershire sauce and it's ready to serve, with or without an egg.

Sandwiches - Reheat the thinly sliced beef in beef bullion or consomme with any of the juices. You can slice and saute an onion and a red or green pepper first if you wish, and add some herbs and seasonings. Not too much liquid - just enough to keep it moist. Pile the meat and veg onto buns that you have split and toasted and dressed with mayo or mustard and top with some Provolone or Swiss cheese.

Stroganoff - my favorite - Heat a little oil and saute some fresh mushrooms (or use canned) along with a bit of onion or garlic if you like. Add a package of instant beef or brown gravy mix and the water called for on the package. Stir to combine, then add the sliced meat and heat until the gravy has thickened and the meat is heated through. Stir in a few spoonfuls of sour cream and serve over rice or noodles. Couldn't be easier! And as Lucy says, "It's so tasty, too"!

Quotable Quotes; In the category Spread Out!

Mustard's no good without roast beef". Chico Marx, from the film Monkey Business

Please, Sir, I want some more!

Yep, soup again. Chicken this time. I roasted a chicken this past weekend. I only buy chickens when they are on sale and this one was 69 cents a pound. Gone are the days when the Jewel had them for 29 cents or even less - a 3 or 4 pound chicken could cost less than a dollar! Of course they were those scrawny "fryers" but they were still good, and just the right size for two!

This chicken was a "roaster" with a fat breast and thighs, quite plump and just itching to make us happy. I like to cut the chicken down the backbone, spread it out and flatten it by pressing on the breast bone. Tuck the wings up and around and roast it that way. Some recipes call this butterflying, others call it spatchcocking. I don't care what you call it, I do it cuz it's easy and cuz the whole chicken cooks evenly without the breast meat drying out AND the entire thing ends up with crisp, crackly skin all over!

I cut up carrots, onion, celery and potatoes into chunks and scatter them in the roasting pan, then lay the seasoned chicken over them, skin side up. Season with salt and pepper, seasoned salt or your favorite rub. I kind of nudge the veggies back under the chicken so they'll cook through. Be sure to leave some peeking out - they'll get deliciously browned and caramelized.

The neck, giblets and extra bits go into a small pan of water to simmer. Halfway through the cooking time I use this broth to start basting the bird to keep it moist and help it brown evenly. I cook it at 400 to 450 f for about an hour or so. It's done when the leg moves freely or when the juices run clear or when a thermometer registers - I don't know, check your cookbook. Let it rest a few minutes before carving and serve with some of the pan juices and the veg.

As Bill said, "that was absolutely delicious".

Now comes the free food. When the chicken is cool remove all the meat from the bones. Set it aside for chicken salad, pot pie, chicken and dumplings or what have you. Also set aside the leftover veg. Take all the bones and any bits of fat, skin, or anything the cat didn't steal and put it in a sauce pan. Rinse the roasting pan several times with water to remove all the baked on goodness and pour that into the pot with the bones. Scrape up any burned bits and get them in there too. You might also want to add the trimmings from the carrots and onions and anything left from simmering the giblets earlier. A couple of bay leaves and peppercorns would not be out of place.

Bring this to a simmer and let it go for a couple hours while you do the dishes, snack on chicken bits and make sandwiches for lunch the next day. When the broth is good and rich, turn it off and let it cool a bit. Remove and discard the bones and strain the broth through a sieve. I just pile all the bones and stuff in a sieve and pour the broth through, letting it drain completely. When this has cooled a bit more pour it into tall narrow containers (the ones that large size won ton soup come in are just right). Put in the fridge. The fat rises to the top and you can scrape it off to discard or use next time you make chopped liver.

Turn this into soup by dicing and browning some onion, carrot, celery and garlic in olive oil. Add the de-fatted stock and bring to a simmer. Taste and add some chicken bullion, if necessary, or thin with a little water or extra canned chicken broth.

Now you get to add whatever you like. Barley, noodles, orzo or rice are all good. Some of the leftover chicken is excellent. Add any other vegetables you desire such as peas, green beans or corn. Season with herbs, spices, a splash of wine, beer or lemon juice to perk it up. Add some chopped spinach, Swiss chard, kale or other greens at the end and let them get tender. When it's hot and the pasta has cooked through it's ready to serve.

If you have been saving your leftover vegetables in the freezer, this is practically free food. And remember, soup loves you.

Quotable Quotes; In the category You Said A Mouthful!

"Do you have a kinder, more adaptable friend in the food world than soup? Who soothes you when you are ill? Who refuses to leave you when you are impoverished and stretches its resources to give a hearty sustenance and cheer? Who warms you in the winter and cools you in the summer? Yet who also is capable of doing honor to your richest table and impressing your most demanding guests? Soup does its loyal best, no matter what undignified conditions are imposed upon it. You don't catch steak hanging around when you're poor and sick, do you?" Judith Martin (Miss Manners)

Poetry Hour

Every once in awhile someone sends me an email filled with cat haikus. In case you don't know a haiku (sometimes spelled hokku) is a 17 syllable poem usually (at least as far as I know) in three lines - 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables - something like this:

Look, the little mouse
sleeps and thinks I do not see.
I pounce, no more mouse!

The fun part is every time I see an email or a reference to cat haiku, I'm reminded of a poem that my sister sent me. I don't remember the title but it was probably something deep and meaningful, like "dog". Here's the poem.

You gonna eat that?
You gonna eat that?
You gonna eat that?
I'll eat that!

I liked the poem and thought it fit the personality of most dogs perfectly. However, being a person who understands cats infinitely better than I do dogs, I was immediately inspired with the cat version of this poem. It goes like this.

You gonna eat that?
GIMME that!

Anyone who knows cats will fully understand the implications.

Quotable Quotes; In the category I Heard You The First Time!

"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later". Mary Bly